Category Archives: Robots

My Transformations Bring All the Bots to the Yard – Transformers – the Coolest Fucking Toys on the Planet

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Sometimes it’s easy to forget how cool and amazing Transformers toys are.

The idea of the very first Transformer toys were realistic diecast toy cars – that also happened to turn into simplistic robots.

It’s easy to miss those old school toys were not robots that turned into vehicles, (or real world objects such as Soundwave and Megatron) they were vehicles with a bonus mode that resembled a very basic robot. You had to use your imagination. It was the branding and cartoon that made us think of them primarily as robots.

Over the years Transformers evolved from simple chunky bots into fully articulated action figures. They did not start off as action figures, but as toys that had a bonus feature – the transformation gimmick. You paid for one toy, but you basically got two toys for your money – making for increased play value.

sunstreaker diaclone mp


Looking back from 2017 to the vintage Transformers, Diaclone and Micro-Change toys, it’s easy to miss the aim of the toy line was not poseability or articulation – it was all about play value and various gimmicks. Most kids don’t give a crap what poses a figure  can pull off, it’s gotta be an engaging character, something they recognise, or full of bright cheerful colors or have some cool play gimmick to keep a kids attention. If a toy  has all of those things that makes it even more desirable.

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The general idea of licensed action figures such as the Kenner Super Powers or MEGO’s was character accuracy, bright colors and toy gimmicks that made the toy appealing to kids. The term Action Figure often implied some type of action gimmick, or being tied to an action oriented licensed character – rather than just articulation.

Take a look at vintage G. I. Joe and Action Man, and you’ll see amazing articulation that was not used used in many other toys for decades as its was just too cost prohibitive. The large scale Joes used the same basic idea as girls dolls – large toys that you can buy many outfits for thus increasing it’s potential play value. Their poseability and accessories set the action figure standard, but the large size (costs, mass market vs say hot toys etc) was mostly non transferable to other toy lines. As costs went up, and more and more licensed merchandise arrived in the form of action figures – over the years the toys got smaller.

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When G.I. Joe eventually was relaunched he didn’t come back in his large scale cloth clothing form, he was shrunk down the same size as the new tiny Star Wars figures. Meaning they were cheaper toys to make, but they also were far more articulated than the Star Wars figures. And like the Star Wars toy line – the new smaller scale toys had legendary vehicles and accessories to play with.

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Bootleg 80’s Kids in 1:1 Scale



Even the basic idea of articulation existed much earlier than the action figure craze of the 1960’s. For example Ideal Toy Company produced a wooden articulated Superman toy back in 1939. And various dolls for girls over the decades had limited articulation, soft hair, eyes that moved etc. Going back even further we have wooden marionettes – puppets more than toys – but the idea of articulation based on a mammalian skeletal structure and movement patterns is there.

Superman 1939 articulated figure

The action figure is basically a hybrid of features from other toys – mainly from girls dolls, with play gimmicks added from toys typically made for boys. The modern action figure still exists as a toy on chainstore shelves for kids but also exists as an adult collectible aiming at screen, comic or video game artistic accuracy over any play features or poseability, while mainline chain-stores boys toys are still heavily oriented around various gimmicks, accessories and ties ins such as vehicles.

For example my Grossery Gang Garbage Truck has a Garbage Catapult, the front dumpster lifts up on the arm forks, both the side doors open with peg holes for figures, there’s a gun turret and seat on one side and the wheels roll quite smoothly. Oh and the front canopy opens so you can put a figure in there.

transform and roll out bebop burgerformers

The play pattern and emphasis is on ACTION. And those fold out doors mean you can store Transforming burgers or whatever other Junkfood Formers you got lying around in there.

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From these different influences then – statues, marionettes, dolls and other odd toys and gimmicks we arrive at the hybrid toy – the action figure. Poseable, articulated, stylish, cool, full of attitude and toughness and can-do.

The modern action figure is like a marionette without strings that can hold its own poses on one end of the scale – or like a statue with limited articulation on the other hand – made to look stunning on display.

Those old Brickformers of my youth could not pull of an action pose to save their life. Fast forward to more modern toys like Combiner Wars Motormaster or Classics / Henkei Optimus Prime and we now have a toy robot that transforms into a cool vehicle AND is a competent action figure.

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What amazing thighs you have Optimus Prime
motormaster vs optimus prime


The toy line that made action figures truly viable in the mainstream after vintage Joe died off was of course the Star Wars figures and vehicles from Kenner. The articulation was pretty limited, but the details were nice. The card backs were rather attractive and most important – they had a MASSIVE demand in stores and a CHEAP price point for toys that mostly resembled their source material.

Star Wars figures were toys kids could buy with pocket money, or parents might buy on a day out at the shops without breaking the bank. To my eyes they are small, ugly and stupid. Yeah I’m not a fan of those figures at all. But I respect the place they have in toy and action figure history, and I did enjoy seeing some of my mates collection when I was younger (I never owned any myself, and if I did I would likely burn them).

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The Star Wars movies eventually being released on home VHS meant an extended life for Star Wars products and figures, along with their vehicles. The smaller scale Star Wars figures were such a hit, that when the G.I. Joe brand was relaunched by Hasbro – they went with the new cheaper downscaled 3 3/4 scale figures – mimicking the Star Wars figures, while adding in much needed articulation. This scale of action figure also had the benefit of fitting in the many large vehicles that populate the Star Wars and G.I. Joe lines without looking ridiculous as most toy lines typically do due to scale issues.

Star Wars and licensed superhero figures pushed the niche of the Action Figure to mass mainstream audiences through the seventies and eighties. Eventually, technology moved along to provide more accurate sculpting of facial features. This side technology of facial scanning grew out of the movie and video game worlds, and became a standard adopted, used and rapidly progressed in its accuracy for several years and used in many licensed products for actor likenesses, wrestlers, etc.

Meaning more accuracy and less reliance on sculpts from scratch. Previous portrait technologies involved the use of a camera, or the use of a person sitting really still for many hours while being painted. So facial scanning for licensed products is still pretty new in the history of humanity. Our cave man ancestors made do with sticks and stone toys presumably, and lots more imagination. They never imagined a future of three dimensional scanning creepily bringing dead actors back to life in movies, or giving us the highest possible raised position of an eyebrow on a sweaty muscle man.

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Our modern toys still have to be physically designed, prototyped, and manufactured of course. But this fancy pants computer technology bullshit contributes and fast tracks the amazing movie accurate toys we see today in toy lines from Hot Toys, NECA etc, along with the more traditional artists sculpts and statues. Not to gloss over all the traditional design and pre-production work from artists in traditional and digital media that precedes the production of any high end toy or movie licensed product. Full credit to those hard working artists man!


Eventually Transformers started adopting more of the standardized features of the action figure type of toys, and less of the features typical of diecast vehicles (well…Alternators…*cough*). While various features like light piping, ball joints and more appeared in selected G1 and G2 toys, it was the Beast Wars tie in toy line that made Transformers into fully articulated standarized action figures – rather than diecast vehicles that also turned into boxy robots.

The organic alt modes of Beast Wars allowed more freedom to run wild with new designs not limited by past Transformers designs, or styles of transformation. They were more Western action figure that happens to turn into a thing, rather than Japanese super robot…that turns into a thing.


For the first time subsidiary Kenner – famous for making Star Wars, Super Powers and Batman action figure lines was asked to make the new Beast Wars figures. Having failed to make any real impact with the Generation Two branding (and cancelled TV show) Hasbro was willing to take a chance with something radically different to anything that had come before in Transformers history.

Beast Wars remains a divisive line/brand with many fans loving it or outright hating it. But nobody (except lunatics) denies the impact it had on the evolution of Transformers toys – and that it basically saved the Transformers media brand and toys from probable extinction. I still can’t stand about 90% of anything Beast Wars related. But like Star Wars, Beast Wars has its significant place in Transformers toy history and Lore.

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Darth Bubble, Bat Bubble and Beast Bubble



So, with all that articulation and fancy bells and whistles making these modern Transformer toys so special, what else do they need? A cool look is important, but more than that you need personality and character.

Do kids want Bumblebee every year because he’s frigging yellow and named after a Bee? No they want him because of his winning personality and on screen shenanigans. Because he’s a recognizable iconic character like Mickey Mouse, Scooby Doo or Spongebob. Its a challenge for any Writer/Creator/Imagineer of Transformers fiction to balance the robot modes with the alt modes. Stories set on Earth or Cybertron tend to have roads or an atmosphere conducive to flying.  Roads justify vehicle alt modes, while worlds without roads make more sense to have Beast of flying forms for mobility.

Too much alt mode and we lose the character or get bored. It just becomes a piloted mech or fancy ATV. Too much humanoid sentient alien robot, and we lose what makes Transformers unique from mecha and super robot shows.

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We like our robots of all flavors to have personalities. The most enduring characters are well defined in their personalities and values, but with room to do new things in stories, or the for audience to project something of themselves onto that character. The original Transformers toys came alive in kids imaginations, partly due to the old box bios – and partly due to the tie in cartoon and comics, the rest was imagination for them Brickformers. The toys themselves were rather beautiful, but limited in what they could do. The stories and characters were mainly influenced by american superhero fiction, thus making Transformers uniquely american, despite the toys being a totally different toyline rebranded and imported from Japan.

Astro boy, Optimus Prime and the Iron Giant are sentient robots full of personality and humanity, and while Gundam mecha are big robot suits piloted by humans – even these mecha has a personality and style to them that makes them far more than just “vehicles” even if they are ultimately the worlds fanciest all terrain (or no terrain) vehicles.


Transformers sit comfortably as a mix of toy, action figure, cool robot, and cool character/personality. Take Jetfire above – he’s a warrior/scientist, looks great as a robot and turns into a gigantic kick ass flying vehicle. Any one of these elements alone can be enough to sell a toy, or promote a tie in with licensed media. Add them all together and you have a recipe for keeping kids young and old entertained and coming back for more for decades.

In this image below from left to right: Transformers Animated Black Arachnia, TF Animated Bulkhead, Generation Two Sideswipe and TMNT Classics Mikey. The turtle toy can pull off just about any pose you can dream of, while in contrast G2 Sideswipe (a redeco of the G1 toy) can move his arms up and down a little and his wheels rolls smoothly in vehicle mode. Bulkhead has a fair amount of articulation, but his poses are limited by his size and weight – no kung-fu kicks for this Deskbot – unless you have the patience for it.g2 sideswipe classic mikey animated bulkhead transformers action figures.JPG

You can see how the Sideswipe toys looks cool, but not much personality to him other than his sweet color scheme. Without a box bio or comic or cartoon – we don’t know much about Sideswipe. In contrast Mikey and Bulkhead are just full of personality and quite expressive. Even without looking at any tie in media, we get an idea of their character just from looking at them.

Bulkhead has cool gimmicks such as his jaw moves when he talks, and the voice clips are straight from the show audio – no second hand “toy only” off key voice actor shenanigans here. His arm buzzsaw spins, while his other arm has a claw grabbing action. Mikey has Nunchucks with fake chains so they hang and can be posed in any number of ways, while his base and foot pegs means he can ninja-kick with the best of em and not topple over.


Stories like IDW comics Stormbringer bring us less “robots in disguise” and more robots in big action scenes, gung-ho dialogue with loads of characters and not much alt modes to be seen because it’s what fans –  manchildren – want. But a good Transformers story in any media needs a balance of bot and alt mode to make it genuine, and not just a generic Robot story. Personally just give me a shit ton of fights and explosions and I’ll be happy.


Likewise, a good modern Transformers toy needs to be a balance of vehicle, cool robot and action figure and winning personality (or face ripping sadist executioner).  It’s a balance that is not always quite right. Often one mode suffers for the sake or another. Most notorious are triple changers – at best two out of three modes look decent, with the third mode often suffering to accommodate the other two.

When a Bot transformation scheme, play factor and overall cool aesthetics comes together, it’s just magic. The infamous MP-10 Optimus Prime and his variants have a beautiful truck mode and a  stunning robot mode that looks great many years after its creation. It’s also a highly articulated action figure, satisfying the third criteria of successful modern Transformers toy designs. It’s also a kick-ass representation of an iconic character, so it’s win/win/win and gets Bluebot Bears Big Stamp of Awesome.

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Most modern action figures usually emulate the human musculoskeletal system (or an animal’ skeleton), and it’s implied ranges of normal movement.

In the below image is a Kenner Batman figure that can pull off a variety of action poses, next to him is RID Thunderhoof, who can do most if not all of the same poses Batman can do. He’s the modern Transformer robot, vehicle and action figure hybrid. The brickbots of my childhood (that I still love) generally can’t pull of these sorts of poses, and they were never intended to. To me it’s silly to complain any toy does’t have a feature it was never designed to have. Makes as much sense to me as complaining that pigs don’t have wings and can’t fart gold bricks.

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The BVS movie Batman (in silver) next to The Rock also has articulation, but its rather limited and he can pull of almost zero action poses other than kneeling while falling over or raising and bending his arms in a straight linear line while dropping his poorly gripped weapon. Samurai Leo is even worse, he looks great but his articulation means his feet can’t go far and his arms are not flexible enough to pull off any realistic sword poses or combat stances.

Thunderhoof meanwhile can pull of some great poses, has a really cool transformation scheme, looks great in his tractor alt mode and (mostly) resembles  his on screen persona. While there are better TF toys, Thunderhoof is a fine example of a modern Transformers toy done right and the evolution of the Vehicle / Robot / Action figure triangle, and a good place to end this post.

thunderhoof tractor mode rev up and farm out



Optimus Prime art by Alex Milne / Marker Guru

Superman toy image

Sunstreaker vintage toy image

Sunstreaker fan art based on box art

Masterpiece Sunstreaker image from official Takara stock photos

Jerfire fan art by Thuddleston

Vintage G.I. Joe image from

KENNER Super Power Batman toy image

Beast Wars image from

Astro Boy image

Gundam image

Iron Giant image

G. I. Joe toy commerical image courtesy of Youtube

Star Wars / Batman images copyright KENNER

Beast Wars card back image

Carl Weathers thumbs up image


TANGENT COLLECTIONS: 1980’s Retro Robots by TOMY

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When I was a kid I had a toy robot called “Crackbot”.


This toy was released by TOMY in the 80’s as part of a line of toy robots that had electronics, and each had some type of gimmick.

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Crackbot had an antennae tail with a sound sensor on the top. Any short sharp loud sound would make him stop rolling around, and nod his head up and down a few times, then continue on his merry way. He had a pudgy round body, oblong-ish head and his arms would swing back and forth as he moved.

It was a cool toy, and I liked it.

However it’s not much of a play pattern. You turn it on, watch it roll around the kitchen floor for five, ten minutes tops. Then you put it away and find something else to play with.

It was not a hands-on type of toy. Picking it up meant it was not rolling around on the floor. I guess I got bored of it after a few months, then it faded into the background of my other childhood toys.

Fast forward a few decades, and I find myself browsing various vintage 80’s robot toys on my tablet in bed at night. Thanks to some of the fan made websites such as the excellent The Old Robots  we have a nice reference for anyone looking for information and pictures of the toy lines.

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Top stuff, I should really contact whoever runs that site for a Q&A. The Old Robots is a great reference on all types of vintage robots from around the world. The best site possible for any kind of collector to stumble over.

Hundreds of photographs, technical specifications, tips on mods and restorations, and loads of great images of box art, old advertorials – just a fantastic resource and clearly a passion project.

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Anyway, so I started feeling nostalgic particularly for the TOMY line of toy robots, and could not quite put my finger on it.

It’s not the electronics and gimmicks which appeal, though they are cool. It’s not that I want to play with them – as there is not a lot you can do with them. Well you can mod the fancy ones to do all sorts of things, making it closer to the Robo-Butler it was advertised as being for badly dressed lazy 80’s kids too busy playing video games to get their own damn snacks.

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OMNIBOT – Pretends to be your Butler until the inevitable overthrow of humanity

It’s really the aesthetics of the toys that I love.

Those cute faces and pudgy proportions are just adorable.

Which are beautifully highlighted in some fine digital art by Rocky Bergen.

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Art and Fine Fashion Sense by Rocky Bergen

These smaller TOMY robots look like they want to help out, or could just be cool Robo-Pets for kids.

They are quite beautiful to my eye and then the nostalgia comes in as they have the look of a certain era. The TOMY robots are unmistakably 80’s Japanese toy robots, but they also look like they take their design cues from Futurism, with a little Star Wars and 2001 mixed in.

Their bone white non-color [HOUSE RULE: The Future – Bone White, Space Age] is a staple of science fiction design, the clean white look associated often with advanced technology and Star Ships. Both Star Wars and Star Trek used bold iconic bone white and off white star ships in their various fiction. The TOMY robots unique look also has some of its roots and influence in the architecture and interior decoration elements of Modernism.

So Modernism, Futurism, Japanese Robots and Science Fiction – all those influences are there for the appreciative eye to see in these cute toy robots from TOMY.

The build quality of TOMY toys is typically quite high – they have made a diverse range of quality toys for several decades. TOMY robots are quite fun, and most of them if you pick them up today are broken, but fixable.

I’m useless at fixing things.

So mainly I’m starting a small mini-collection of  a select few 80’s robots. It’s like “I’m putting a team together, we’re looking for a few good robots”

Some of the Bots I am looking for are by TOMY, and some by other companies such as the “Talkabot” by AXLON I picked up recently from an ebay auction.

The criteria for me to include such a robot is really it’s aesthetics, more than any features or gimmicks. And I dig robots that vow not to join the Robo-Revolution when it arises. Ever notice how a lot of Japanese robots are quite helpful, or even full on Heroic if you count Super-Robot Mecha like Voltron or Combattler V -while american Robots tend to want to kill us all.

talkabot 1 box theoldrobots

So… Talkabot is an exceptionally cute little fellow.

I’m using stock photos from the wonderful The Old Robots site again here, as I can’t find my photos of the one I own just now, and he’s wedged in between some various Transformers toys, with no dedicated space of his own just yet.

I do have the box, but it’s flat with no foam and a bit tattered.


The Talkabot I bought on ebay still works partly. The motor spins, but the wheel is not moving. I think it’s fixable.

His walkie talkie speaks through his chest, and you control him with the same radio control to drive him around. Except the wheel is not catching properly – a common problem with these old robots. Talkabots little crab hands have  a pinch gimmick. A spring keeps them tight, you can open them and put a piece of paper or something small in there for him to carry around while you drive him with the remote.

My next robot I’m hunting will be a Crackbot to replace the one I had when I was a kid.

I don’t have that one anymore, no idea what happened to it.

Seen a few on ebay here and there, but after one that is in good condition and not with faded / yellowed plastic – that yellow fading really ruins the look of these cool robots. If you want good condition ones you have to pay a fair amount for them.

MISB and boxed ones are much higher again, and really out of my price range. I go for loose or unboxed Robo’s, in good clean condition with no major damage to the body shell – but I’m not worried about the interior electronics and such. Often it’s worth paying just a *little* more for a working or fixable robot than a total junker. I’ll take some proper photos of TalkaBot when he has a better area to be displayed in.

I look forward to picking up a number of TOMY 80’s retro robots over the the next year or two, starting with my childhood Crackbot, who took no part in the 80’s drugs wars.

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