15 TRANSFORMERS MOVIE IDEAS I’D RATHER SEE THAN ANOTHER BLOODY BAYFORMERS

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 #15. TITAN FORCE 5

A Super Team of Citybot TITANS that travel from world to world fighting the biggest and the baddest civilization ending monsters in the galaxy. Part Voltron, part Tranformers, part rubber suit guy Godzilla wrestle fest… in SPACE. It’s everything you love in one convenient movie blending the best of western science fiction writing with the big action and spectacle of a Kaiju / Tokusatsu film.

 

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#14. LOST LIGHT

Hot Rod’s dysfunctional crew of unmentionables cruising around the universe having misadventures aboard the Lost Light. It’s the original Star Trek but with transformers, with a side order of Red Dwarf absurdist scenarios and banter mixed in. On a never ending quest to find the mythical Knights of Cybertron, Hot Rod and his co-captain Megatron endure setbacks and misadventures. Like all good space operas, it not about the mission/destination but the journey and character interaction along the way.

 

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# 13. DER GEIST CON STARSCREAM*

A minimalist creepy film with a brooding ambient score that makes your skin crawl. A series of Decepticon characters mysteriously murdering each other, who appear to be insane in the brain-module. Only later in the film do we realize that our malevolent maniacs have been possessed by Der Geist con Starscream, who is murderizing his way to the top with style – one CON at a time. *And because somebody already came up with the title at TFWIKI, I just HAD to steal it (just the title).

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#12. LAST STAND OF THE WRECKERS

A rag tag group of no goodniks on a suicide mission where almost nobody gets out alive. It’s the big summer spectacle balls to the wall action movie with intelligence, grit and style that’s gonna wipe away all the bad memories of what came before because fuck Michael Bay and the horsebot he rode in on.

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Last stand of the Wreckers – An adaptation of the short comic book story that sees our lovable team of miscreants sent on a mission to kill the virtually unkillable smug self-satisfied sadist Overlord and take back his prison planet, freeing the slaves from endless torture and other horrific war crimes.

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A Dirty Dozen / Expendables style film full of tough talk, dirty deeds and big action. When there’s an impossible job that needs taken care of you call The Wreckers.

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HE’S IN CHARGE

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#11. BEAST WARS – THE WAR OF THE PROTOFORMS

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Far from playing it safe with a straight up action adventure, Beast Wars was an innovative well written and well animated cutting edge show that took chances. It was also kinda boring and slow in places. A film version should be more innovative and take more chances – rather than less. The story follows a proto-from from its birth into the world(s) of Beast Wars, and the two factions mindlessly campaigning for new members.

An existential meditation on the nature of cultural conditioning, of coercing younglings into war to suit an agenda. A film that doesn’t try to answer the hard ethical questions, but instead puts you through the wringer, as we follow our proto-form and its unsuccessful attempts to integrate and find meaning in a world gone mad after millions of years of meaningless wars.

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#10. THE FALL OF CYBERTRON

A traditional war film set during the peak of the first civil war that later leads to teh evacuation of the planet. A young pre-matrix Optimus Prime leads a group of Autobots through an endless campaign of destruction and carnage on commando missions to capture, retake or destroy important strategic targets. This is the beginning of an icon, the war days that forge Optimus into the tough but open minded leader he would later become. We see Optimus make rookie mistakes and begin his rise to greatness as a leader of the Freeformers… ah… Autobots.

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#9. MEGATRON: ORIGINS

We’ve had Wolverine: Origins and Batman Begins now  lets see a biography film of histories greatest genocidal robot dictator. Like Aronofsky’s The Wrestler, Megatron Origins doesn’t glamorize anything, just matter of fact shows you the horrible life as part of the underclass labor force Megatron has lead. We see the formation of the Decepticons,  Megatron’s rise against tyranny, and his eventual place as an unrepentant  monster greater that those he fought against.

 

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#8. HOW BEACHCOMBER GOT HIS GROOVE BACK

A buddy comedy road trip movie sets during the 80’s about keeping it real. A down on his luck Beachcomber is befriended by the sweet natured Bumblebee. Together they go on a mad road trip across America. Like John Hughes’ Planes, Trains and Automobiles the laughs are big, the friendship is enduring and the ending is bitter sweet.

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#7. WAR WITHIN ERA SOLO DINOBOTS MOVIE

A solo film for the Dinobots that focuses on their descent from Strike Team to Outlawed Beastial Renegades. From a once respected team of commandos to their exposure to dark energon that causes them to give in their Beastial natures, savaging their enemies in wild fits of berserker rage. Ostracized by the peace loving Autobots for being too savage and unpredictable. Addicted to violence and war the Dinobots remain noble savages with sympathies from neither Bot or Con for their war time atrocities.

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#6. AUTOCRACY

A political drama about the beginning of corruption in the Autobot senate, the rise of the Functionists and a companion piece to Megatron: Origins – showing how Cybertron came to be ruled by a corrupt Autocracy that served only its own purposes.

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#5. SHARKIES BIG DAY OUT – aka ‘EASY SHARKER’

A quirky existential coming of age ‘tail’ of a Sharkticon who questions his purpose in life set to a soundtrack of alternative 80’s pop hits. It’s the story of a disillusioned Sharkticon who went looking for Quintessa and couldn’t find it anywhere.

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#4. ALPHA’S ANGELS

A kick ass super-team of secret sassy fembots in the cyberton underground who go on covert missions. Starring Alpha Trion, Elita-1, Moonracer, Chromia, Arcee, Windblade, Nauticaa, Greenlight, Strongarm and Firestar. It’s The Expendables, Charlies Angel’s, and Ocean’s Eleven all knocked up a notch, with the volume turned all the way up.

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#3. OMEGA’S LAST STAND

In the dying of the light, the last of robotic sentient life is extinct. OMEGA SUPREME is on a one million year one way journey to seed a new potential robotic world with protoforms and reignite the Cybertronian race. His dilemma – to allow his own race to die knowing the wars, death and chaos they have caused may start anew, or to follow his instincts as the last Guardian Robot, and protect the sacred lifeforms he holds in his body.

“My destiny is the ocean of stars”

Last Stand is a space travel movie about the loneliest Autobots slow descent into oblivion on a mission of ultimate self sacrifice. Having delivered his pay load, the last of Omega’s Energon is burnt up, we see his lifeless body float out into space in stasis lock. Ice crystals form on his ocular cavities as he drifts helplessly into a black hole, his body finally at rest as he is destroyed.

He would shed a tear, if he had tears to shed.

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#2 GALVATRON OF THE DARKLANDS

IDW Galvatron is an unknown ancient Cybertronian, a barbarian warrior and a genetic purist who cares not for foul abominations like headmasters or Beastformers. Carving and hacking a path through all who oppose him, this Galvatron is an ancient ruthless barbarian, far more intelligent, more sane, more dangerous and more savage than any version we have seen before.

Long before the Cybertronian civil wars, Galvatron was kicking ass and taking names. A Conan style Outlander adventure film of pure grit, malice and raw strength would be the order of the day. Anything else would not do this version of the character justice. In a time before laws, nations, politics, friends and allies were foreign concepts. There is only Galvatron of the Darklands, and this is his mad unending crusade.

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#1. SOLO GRIMLOCK & BULKHEAD MOVIE

RID chubby paws himself Grimlock teams up with Transformers Animated Bulkhead in an all ages kids films of big adventures, big laughs, big heart and mass destruction (most of it unintentional) SORRY!

Two big clumsy Rockheads in one small summer movie, with a lot of laughs and accidental mass destruction. “Together, there is nothing they can’t destroy”

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BONUS!!! THE Z GRADE MOVIES THAT JUST DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT (that the director snuck out the back door so you can find the bootlegs at the Dodgy Sunday Markets)…

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#5. GONE WITH THE SHARKTICON

A robotic romance-drama-comedy-horror with teeth.

“Part robot, Part romance – all terror.”

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#4. ULTRA MAGNUS – CARETAKER OF THE MATRIX

A low budget indie film, a day in life of Ultra Magnus with his embarrassing role as “Caretaker of the Matrix”

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#3. THE FALLEN:  A HUNK OF BURNING LOVE

He’s undeniably evil, inspired Megatron to go Full Metal Bad Ass and pretty much the Transformers equivalent of a fallen angel who rebels against his home and he’s ALWAYS ON FIRE, ALWAYS!!! Why? Because it looks bad ass, that is the *official* reason. Just stop asking questions and walk away before he notices you. He’s even on fire when there is no oxygen around. Come on, that’s the definition of BAD ASS!

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#2. THEY SAVED OPTIMUS’ BRAIN MODULE

A tale so terrible that once told you will feint in pure terror. A story calculated to drive you insane in the brain module. Keep reminding yourself it’s not real.

 

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#1.  NIGHT OF THE LIVING BRICK

Once in a lifetime comes a film so depraved and disgusting. So terrifyingly high, these toy prices will make you drop dead in fright!  Walk away now mortal, lest these living bricks claim first your immortal soul, and then your wallet. Mu-hu-hu-ha-ha-ha-ha-har!

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