Can You Ever Have too Many toys? The Most Pointless of Questions is Asked

If there such a thing as having “too many toys”?

For some the answer is yes.

While for others the answer is no.

The question becomes too many FOR WHOM?

I don’t like to put artificial borders on my thinking not in any level of life, or activity.

There are enough real world unavoidable obstacles and barriers in daily life, that I don’t have to go inventing new ones.

So, my simple answer is no.

You can never have too many toys. However, the toys you have now, can take up too much physical space.

So let’s reframe the idea…

Say you had infinite space, and infinite money, could you have “too many toys” then?

To me the answer is no – what are toys but art solidified – but ideas expressed.

You might as well ask “Can you every have too many ideas?” No, never.

Now, if you have finite resources, such as limited money and limited physical space, can you have too many toys then? YES, for sure.

I like to think that if I was super wealthy, I would not turn into a pack rat hoarder with a house full of toys (no offense to pack rats intended, I’ve been there before, and I don’t like it).

What I would do with infinite money, toys, materials etc – is invest in some sort of toy museum, where people could come along and enjoy a gigantic collection of amazing toys. Yes, that sounds like fun to me.

Perhaps a gold coin donation to enter, to help with upkeep of the place, then stay as long as you like, fuck about with some toys, and have a good time maybe chat to folks who enjoy similar things to you. Sounds good to me. Yes.

If it grew big enough, maybe it could attract people from far and wide, maybe add in guest speakers or something to make it a bit more interesting.

“But the toys would break if people keep playing with them, especially the vintage stuff?” some might say.



Break them.


Whatever – they are toys, that is half the fun. I use the word museum loosely, let someone else be all about preservation, I’m more interested in fun and destruction, that in hermetically sealing away toys as cultural artifacts.

Also it is  fun to break things. Part of the experience of being a kid and having toys is learning you CAN break them, and not just by accident. We learn the physical world and the application of force has consequences.

Better to break toys than people.

One of my fondest shared memories with one of my oldest mates is when we were really bored one day at his place (this is back when we were about 13 or so) we got his toy Battlecat –

…and set fire to the tooth,

just for a lark.

Turns out plastic is *very flammable* (who knew?)  – and pretty quickly the whole head was on fire and the garage was full of toxic black plastic fumes. Not joking, we could have potentially set the garage / house on fire really.

Not Flame Proof, but probably a Flamer

We decided to move the Battlecat into the backyard, it was on a big piece of old wooden board so we picked it up and moved it, rather hastily.

Well quickly, but in a lazy bored way really.

Within another sixty seconds, the whole thing was a miniature inferno of flames and smoke.

Then another minute or two later, it was just a puddle of melted green stinky fumey plastic.

Bye-bye Battlecat.

Now the collector in me today says “why the fuck would you do that?”

The kid in me says “BECAUSE”.

We were bored, and it was fun.

And fuck Battlecat. He was kinda dumb and boring and stuff.

What kid hasn’t melted plastic army men or cut off their heads or arms?

This just happened to be a nice toy that we really didn’t give a fuck about it, it may as well have been a plastic shopping bag, that was how we felt about it at the time.

breaking stuff is fun SMALL.jpg

So, too many toys?

Is it a thing? It can be.

But I think it comes down to priorities.

I see folks online all the time with amazing *gigantic* collections.

And even if I had the money and space they do, I don’t want that.

I limit my toy habits to just what I can keep in one room, and a couple storage tubs in the garage.

I don’t EVER want a garage full of toys, like the way it used to be full of DVD movies before I purged them during another move.

I hate clutter, yet I am forever buying crap I don’t need and cluttering up my living spaces. It never ends.

Every year I get rid of loads of stuff, and seem to always acquire more than I have gotten rid of.

Too many toys? Yes/No/Maybe.

Also, fuck that Battlecat. I really can’t stand that character. Think I’m extra surly this month.

“What! Why did Battlecat have to get double fucked?”

flight-of-conchords-stuffed d.jpg






Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s